


do you think we have souls

by unimate



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28017135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unimate/pseuds/unimate
Summary: DAVE: really fucking weird that ancient people were worried about their souls when there were like tigers and shit running aroundDAVE: whoops haha there goes my armDAVE: like listen youre like a cave guy and you dont even know that fire exists so you have to eat all your food rawDAVE: worry about salmonella my good dude(dave, rose, and kanaya discuss metaphysics over coffee)
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Kudos: 23





	do you think we have souls

DAVE: hmm 

ROSE: Elbow off the table, Dave. 

DAVE: wow okay mom  
DAVE: hmmmm

ROSE: What are you 'hmming' about? 

DAVE: what 

ROSE: You keep humming. Not even humming, actually. You are physically saying the word 'hmm' out loud like a detective from a radio play. 

DAVE: well  
DAVE: i was speculating on exactly what sort of situation ive gotten myself into  
DAVE: considering i responded to an invitation to a "tea party"  
DAVE: and there isnt any tea

ROSE: Did you want tea? 

DAVE: no  
DAVE: i dont drink tea

ROSE: I know. Neither do I. But "coffee party" isn't really in common parlance. 

DAVE: yeah it sort of has like a sinister quality to it  
DAVE: like what do you do at a coffee party  
DAVE: because it doesnt sound like you drink coffee  
DAVE: but idk have you ever actually heard anybody say anything about a tea party in real life before  
DAVE: like besides in like old elizabethan shit  
DAVE: like sherlock holmes ass might go to a tea party 

ROSE: That's Victorian, not Elizabethan. And I don't know if Sherlock Holmes went to tea parties. 

DAVE: why have you ever read a sherlock holmes

ROSE: No.  
ROSE: Have you? 

DAVE: no 

ROSE: Move your elbow so I can put this down. 

DAVE: are cookies part of a 'tea party'  
DAVE: or are these biscuits 

ROSE: I don't know, call them whatever you want. 

DAVE: oh these bang  
DAVE: sort of like licoricey or whatever 

KANAYA: Thank You 

DAVE: oh damn did you make these

KANAYA: Yes  
KANAYA: I Have Been Experimenting With The Human Scientific Pursuit Known As "Baking"  
KANAYA: The Results Have Been Very Positive So Far

DAVE: well im glad somebody is doing something normal  
DAVE: isnt this the sort of shit youre supposed to do when you grow up  
DAVE: like  
DAVE: bake  
DAVE: have tea parties or like garden parties or whatever

KANAYA: What I Was Supposed To Do When I Grew Up Was Ascend To The Abyss Of Space And Serve In The Empresses Jade Unit In Order To Further Facilitate The Alternian Empires Glorious Crusade Across The Galaxy 

DAVE: wack  
DAVE: anyway who else is coming 

ROSE: I have no idea. Roxy might show up later. Dirk didn't respond; I'm not even convinced that he got my message. He’s turned off read receipts for ethical reasons. 

DAVE: probably took a look at it and figured that he didnt drink tea  
DAVE: i dont think he drinks coffee either

ROSE: Yes, he purports to abhor all substances. 

KANAYA: I Suppose He Believes That The Use Of Chemical Enhancements Undermine Him In Some Fashion 

ROSE: It’s just coffee. It’s a beverage, not a steroid. 

DAVE: yeah but who knows with him  
DAVE: he might believe whatever fucking thing like uhhh  
DAVE: that the coffee will steal his soul or something like that isnt that a thing that ancient cultures used to believe 

KANAYA: Ancient Cultures Believed That Coffee Would Steal Your Soul  
KANAYA: Is That True 

ROSE: I think you mean mirrors. 

DAVE: right whatever  
DAVE: really fucking weird that ancient people were worried about their souls when there were like tigers and shit running around  
DAVE: whoops haha there goes my arm  
DAVE: like listen youre like a cave guy and you dont even know that fire exists so you have to eat all your food raw  
DAVE: worry about salmonella my good dude  
DAVE: do you think we have souls

ROSE: What? 

DAVE: us the eight of us  
DAVE: do gods have souls  
DAVE: dont look at me like that 

KANAYA: Like What

DAVE: like im having an episode im just thinking  
DAVE: like how is it that were immortal why did we stop aging  
DAVE: like obviously with kanaya its different youre a fucking vampire so obviously its vampire magic that keeps you from aging 

KANAYA: I Am Pretty Sure Vampire Magic Is Fake As Shit 

DAVE: yeah but you would say that since youre a vampire and you dont want your secrets getting out for political reasons  
DAVE: but yeah do our souls get sucked out and thats why we dont die  
DAVE: discuss  
ROSE: I’m not convinced that we ever had ‘souls’ to begin with, and I use that word with the utmost of scare quotes, because it’s not particularly precise.  
DAVE: what

ROSE: What is a soul? Do you mean a mind? Some formless sense of self, a consciousness? Or do you mean an actual persistent form that lasts on past death, and would in theory go on to exist somewhere beyond the body? 

DAVE: what do you mean in theory  
DAVE: we couldnt swing our dicks without hitting a ghost in the game  
DAVE: i think i know more ghosts than i know alive people

ROSE: The ghosts we met in the game were SBURB constructs. 

KANAYA: Were They 

ROSE: You think they weren’t? 

KANAYA: Well  
KANAYA: It Isnt Possible To Be Entirely Sure Since We Havent Come Across Any Ghosts Since Arriving On Earth C  
KANAYA: But Other Sburb Constructs As You Put It Still Exist  
KANAYA: The Carapacians And Consorts For Instance

ROSE: Sure, I’ll grant you that we were able to carry over certain elements from the game into the real world. But those elements were a fundamental part of the game’s purpose.  
ROSE: SBURB exists to birth new universes, doesn’t it? Its initial purpose was to create a new planet, which is what we would have done if we hadn’t combined several sessions and brought our own world.  
ROSE: The carapacians and consorts were most likely created with the same goal in mind—a people intended to populate the new world, along with whatever race ascended to godhood.  
ROSE: In this instance, the human race. 

KANAYA: Then What About God Tiers  
KANAYA: Where Is The Cut Off When It Comes To What Is Possible And What Isnt As A Creation Of The Game Vs A Construct  
KANAYA: Magical Powers Are Possible But A Soul Is Not Is That What You Mean  
ROSE: No, you’re putting words in my mouth. 

DAVE: wow did you put any additives in these cookies kanaya because this is a weed ass conversation 

ROSE: You started it. 

DAVE: yeah but i didnt think the two of you were going to throw down over it 

KANAYA: This Is Hardly Throwing Down  
KANAYA: Were Simply Having A Spirited Discussion 

ROSE: Don’t you and Karkat ever disagree philosophically? 

DAVE: uh  
DAVE: i guess  
DAVE: but i dont see what me and my best and completely platonic friend karkat has anything to do with your weed induced slap fight over souls 

ROSE: You are completely misrepresenting the situation. 

DAVE: okay but how about this  
DAVE: imps  
DAVE: do they have souls  
DAVE: go  
DAVE: fight


End file.
